Excerpt #7: The Real World

    Ever since I ventured out into the world, with great hopes of providing a living for a happy family, there has not been one single day when I haven't suffered the consequences of what was done to me as a child. It's been in the adult world where my nightmare began, where the fear of failure became all too real and where my very survival was on the line every single day.

In spite of over thirty years of psychiatric therapy, and several hospital stays in the psychiatric ward, no one yet has been able to give any clear explanation as to why I've been stricken with the disabling symptoms that have plagued me my whole life. In spite of a fortune spent in search of relief, I'm still plagued by the past.

My adult life has been a long fight to blend into the world of the mentally fit, those who can function normally on the job every single day. I've blended in, all right...I've been forced to share my nightmare with others, whether they liked it or not.  I'd been forced to go out into the world where the "balanced" reside so that I, too, might make a living. You can believe me when I say there have been days where my presence was anything but welcome. I don't blame society, or corporate America, for not wanting to put up with my problems, especially when it comes out of their pockets. I've been a financial burden to many: some were on the brink of bankruptcy because of my presence. I've persisted in a world where I was unable to carry on; I've existed as a monkey wrench in the machinery of the working world. Being as dysfunctional as I am isn't funny, and I'm not harmless. Because of me, lives have been ruined.